Top 3 tips to keep the family together after a death
The death of a loved family member, particularly when they are the glue that keeps the family together, can sometimes cause a family to fall apart. Here are 3 tips to help keep your family together after a death of a loved one.
Talk openly, without holding it against anyone
The death of a spouse, parent or child can be hard to come to terms with. People may say or do things that are out of character, for lots of reasons.
Behaviour and words said shouldn’t be held as a grudge against someone. After a death, there needs to be some time and space. There is often is huge rush to make decisions.
If your family has never been great an openly communicating with each other, and people hold back, then you might need to have some help to facilitate those conversations.
Taking a position, hiring a litigious lawyer, and isolating yourself from other family members are not very helpful. These behaviours can cause the family to break about. Hiring the wrong lawyer can blow the whole situation up and cost a lot of money.
There are different ways to resolve differences of opinions, rather than going to court and fighting over it. There are ways to keep your family together after a death.
Allow for grief
Be forgiving and patient with yourself and those around you.
Know that the ‘stages’ of grief are not steps that someone works their way through. They jump around, and spiral through those grief emotions. Some take longer than others.
Your world has been rocked after the death of someone close. Give yourself time, and don’t try to make serious decisions.
Be conscious that others will grieve differently to you. Don’t have high expectations of others – even if you can’t be empathetic of understanding of their behaviour. Just understand it’s likely to be coming from grief.
Try to establish mutual priorities
Rather than taking positions on what individuals want, try to establish some group goals.
Can everyone agree that they want to keep having Christmases together?
Can everyone agree that family is more important than winning a fight?
Maybe everyone needs to accept that the person who passed away was not perfect, and maybe they made some mistakes.
If there’s anything that the whole family can agree on, it’s best to start there.